Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Randomize
