I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
