you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Even my vagina gasped.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
