Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i came on her dog
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
