so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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