i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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