please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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