I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
is that a dick in a sweater?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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