This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
