Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
