I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
