So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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