I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
