he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
