there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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