I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Small penises have feelings too.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
