dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
