roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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