Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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