the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
