I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize