508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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