Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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