Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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