real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
