I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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