dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
