Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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