Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
