I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3pm strippers are depressing
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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