apparently the secret to your success is patron
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize