I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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