You made me cry and you don't even care
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
