oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize