I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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