I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
