operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?