Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
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I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
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He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.