Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban