Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
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I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.