My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
