a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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