My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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