We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
