Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
