i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
