Tell her she can't have a vagina
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
