just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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