I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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