I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize