i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
