it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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