Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
