i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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