I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
As shirtless as possible
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
