if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
