your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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