What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's shark week go big or go home
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
