What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
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I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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