I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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