worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
