you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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