I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
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You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
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I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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