I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
