idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
