bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize