it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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